and people know who you are..
If this was anonymous, it'd be lovely, but it kinda isn't. I wish that I had some cute pictures to post (oh wait, okay, I do have one) but the truth is, I don't have one picture with my honey, or with anybody for that matter.
So for you bloggers out there, how do you address the not so sunny things when there's a good chance that people who read your blog know you and your family? I know you get to pick and choose what you write, but I am really against only publishing the "good" stuff. I believe it's detrimental and destructive and alienating. Because that's not life. Life is so messy sometimes you run out of poop bags and you're mid walk and some lady gives you and your pit bull the dirtiest look. Sometimes life is so messy you end up getting "growth opportunities" on Christmas day instead of cool presents to post on Facebook. (Okay, I did get an awesome present that was posted on Facebook and you will be seeing it soon.)
So while I'm afraid to go into too many details here, I can publicly write about some things I am very thankful for. And when you find yourself in darkness, the glimmers of light seem to be so much brighter. And when you're getting that shot, that damn lollipop deserves some credit.
As long as I have my home with my fiance, as long as we fall asleep next to each other every night, all is calm and all is bright.
As long as I remember to love myself and be brave enough to feel these painful feelings, I am giving myself the most valuable gift of all.
As long as we have our girl Starbelly, there is a reason for the season.
I am so thankful to have an anchor in my fiance. I'm thankful that we have created our own family unit. I'm thankful for our traditions -the holiday ones and the everyday ones. I'm thankful for the cute way my dog tries to sneak on the couch (even though I support the fiance's decision to keep her off it of course). I'm thankful for my relationship with my Dad. For growing up on a swing-set singing songs so loudly in the backyard. I'm thankful for our beautiful tree.
I'm thankful that I can feel the pain because I know it's not bigger than me, and that it only leads me to healing and self-trust.
So Happy (and unhappy, whatever you are feeling is valid!) Saturday, and here's to a brand new episode of 48 Hour Mystery!