Friday, June 27, 2014

rose and yellow

We're coming up on our third week of marriage.  It's been pretty awesome so far.  She still brings me food home from work, I still make 87% of the drinks; she still takes my hair off the shower wall, I still get way too excited over Keith Morrison from Dateline.

We still call and text each other during the day, but my notes are signed without the "to-be" following the "wifey".  I can't wait for our marriage license to come in the mail…

It was this time last year that I started this blog.  I remember it was Pride Month.  I didn't realize until after the fact that we got married during LA's pride weekend.  But we did have rainbow fun-fetti cake. Which is sitting in the freezer under the name of Tradition even though I desperately want to eat it every night but have it too.  So far, the best thing about being married is the feeling of ground beneath my feet.  Engagement, for me at least, was such an in-between feeling.  Even for the non-anxious, the anticipation bubbling underneath the surface can be anxiety producing.  The feeling like you should be preparing for something even though there is no way to prepare for it since you've never walked this path before feeling.  Kind of how they say you are never "ready" for parenthood, or marriage for that matter.  Your readiness is in the choice, in the willingness to extend yourself, in the saying of "i do".  I do love this spouse of mine.  I do love that we will always come home to each other.  I do love the luck that brought me to her that day, almost four years ago.  I do love bright colors and will always choose them over neutral "earth" tones, sorry.

Commitment is not only about committing to the other person, but in doing so we commit to ourselves- to show up for whatever rises to our surface throughout the years.  To learn how to polish the love we share with our partners, the love which is only possible when we are loving ourselves.  The love who's seeds can only take root under the canopy of commitment.

loving the gold on our fingers, warm like the source of all love..

No comments:

Post a Comment