Fall, Flooding & Fear

This year so far has probably been the most soul-changing year I've ever had.

I am happy to be sitting here in September, the month I met my fiance three years ago.

I am happy to be wide-eyed, conscious and to be on this journey of nurturing the relationship between the internal mother in me and my inner child.

 I am learning to hold the reigns of my own life.  I am learning that I do deserve love, and that there is no need to be afraid of my sadness, my grief.

I love this month.  I can start to feel the energy shift in the earth at night, the hint of fall in the breeze, the refreshing hollowness of winter air is just starting to trickle into the saturated summer air.  Things will soon get so bare (as bare as they get in Los Angeles) until there is nothing left but stark, quiet space.  Space for the joy of the holidays, space for shedding of limiting fears and false beliefs, space for stretching, space for growth, space for connection, space for hibernation.  Space for hope.  At the beginning of each season there is a certain hope that I love so much.  The possibilities.  The fresh eyes meeting old traditions.

We picked the perfect place to get married.  A place that is under water right now, at the mercy of rushing floods.  Destruction and rebirth, chaos and cleansing - however you choose to look at it.  But the place we chose is just as sturdy as it is vulnerable; just as grounded as it is fluid; just as ancient and sacred as it is young, new, and vibrant - like the marriage it will give birth to in nine months.

I can't wait for daylight to get shorter this fall.  I can't wait for the quiet peace of winter.

I was told by a dear friend that when a strand of a spiderweb is broken, it actually strengthens the structure of the web instead of weakening it.  Life is fragile, floods are scary, loss is heartbreaking, but the web only gets stronger.  Many thoughts and prayers for Colorado, and for anyone suffering for that matter.

Downtown Date

This past Thursday we had a little downtown date day.  It was overcast, really muggy, and I just might have gained some freckles in doing this- but we went to the two downtown locations of the Museum of Contemporary Art.  I felt like we were on vacation, in Paris or something, because we never really spend the day strolling around downtown and seeing museums.  Do you like how I used the word "strolling"?  That word becomes a part of your vocabulary the more you go to museums and wear big girl jewelry.  And make those emphatic throat sounds while someone else is talking.  We also had lunch at this lovely place called The Sandwich Smith.  It was amazing, and we had the sweetest hostess girl ever, who noticed my Bride to Be shirt and asked if she could give us a hug.  She then gave us a free sandwich and two free cookies..

Cafe Au Pride

This is my very first blog post.  There is really no reason for me to start a blog, other than it's 2013 and I drink coffee and appreciate overcast weather immensely.  I also love reading them, so I'm sure I will love writing one.  I have no idea what it will be about, but I do know that if you love gazing at the stunning cheekbones of a pitbull, that you have come to the right place and I will not let you down.  Ever.

I am a young gal in Los Angeles who just got engaged to my girlfriend, and I have had a strong addiction to wedding-things for over a year now, and now that I have a real one to plan, things might get crazy.  I might turn into a wedding Kujo, as if I am my dog, Starbelly after she senses someone within 2 miles walked somewhere...or breathed..or did anything.

It's Pride Month and what is a better month for the Supreme Court to strike down California's ban on marriage for everyone, called Prop 8 -  Perfect timing since we happened to get engaged in May!  So excited to read A Practical Wedding for the eleventh time.  To possibly wear a side ponytail, "researching" wedding things while I nod at strangers, and oh so casually sip a latte.  Welcome to Cafe Au Bride, and if you don't have the Lifetime Movie Network, I strongly recommend that you find a way to view it as often as possible.  That is all.